Like a kick in the face, or the hump, or ... whatever

One of the things I love: borrowing books. Do I want a library someday? Yes. Do I love getting and hoarding stacks and stacks of books? Yes. But I still love borrowing books from people and seeing what they love and what they hate and how that makes them who they are.

Recently my very good friend and regular reading laaaaady Rachel lent me a book called Geek Love by Katherine Dunn.

Here's a photo of the cover!

It's not what you think. It is not about charming geeks who fall in love and awkwardly find romance in their tech driven lives.

It is about freaks. Actual freaks. As in, traveling circus, incest with your brother, born with a major deformity, took drugs and radiation while she was pregnant FREAKS.

And it is FANTASTIC.

I'm basically not going to tell you anything about the story because I think you should go into it with the same mindset that I did: That you have absolutely no idea what in the fucking hell is happening.

Every time I thought I had figured out the endgame, and that I knew where the storyline was headed Katherine Dunn turned around and PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. It was like clockwork, me going "Oh! I think I get it!" and Katherine Dunn going, "WHAT?! BITCH WATCH THIS!"

My only complaint about the book was that the ending was so sudden I almost wasn't certain I understood what happened. In fact, I am positive I had no idea what was happening. But I re-read the ending a few times and I think I figured it out, and the conclusion I came to was that the book ended in the same way the rest of the book unfolded: In a crazy whirlwind of crazy ass shit.

This book gets 4 1/2 stars from Lady Erin, who heartily recommends that you get yourself a copy, and enjoy the feeling of your brain melting into the world of the Binewski circus.

Best wishes,

Lady Erin

(currently reading: The Seagull by Anton Chekhov [translated by Tom Stoppard], The Ghost Pirates by William Hope Hodgson [ebook], and The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx [both because I have to for a class but also because I am a huge nerd and want to read it])

Steampunk: Where Sci-Fi meets Historical Fiction

Greetings and salutations.

Let me begin by saying that this will not be the sole post here to represent the blooming genre of steampunk literature, but there will be many more to come I'm sure. You may recall my first post about the Dapper Men and to be certain there will come a time when several of us post about the most glorious and fashionable authoress Gail Carriger but for now please bear with me.

Since my own personal discovery of this genre two Octobers ago I have become something of an addict. I have a rather long list of books of this ilk which I very much desire to read, but unfortunately do not have the funding or the time as of yet to complete all of them. I am picking my way as I go, and every month or so I pick up a new steampunk treat to satiate my hunger.

This month I picked up the book "Dreadnought" by Cherie Priest.

In a nutshell: the Civil War is still raging many years after our history tells us it was supposed to have ended. Texas is a Republic, Mexico is an Empire, and the North and the South are still fighting tooth and nail. Airships, boats and trains are primary modes of transportation, the slaves have been freed but not given full rights yet, and the world is something of a mess.

Our heroine, Vinita "Mercy" Lynch, works at the Robertson Hospital in Virginia. She is a Confederate nurse, but a nurse nonetheless, and a damn good one. She receives word that her husband has been killed some months ago, and on the same day receives a telegram that speaks of her ailing father who begs her to come to him in Tacoma, WA. To travel entirely across the country is difficult, let alone in the middle of a war, but Mercy has nothing left to do but go, despite the fact that she hasn't seen her real father since she was six. He went West in search of gold and never came back, presumed dead, till now.

Mercy must travel by boat, airship, and finally train -- a Union train, armed and armored to the teeth. It's an enormous, impossibly fast, impossibly strong monstrosity of a machine called the Dreadnought and it is carrying something secret and quite deadly. The train ride west is full of attacks, espionage, and good old fashioned Western gunslinging. Oh, and there are big Iron Giant type machines fighting for the Union and the Confederacy, and there may or may not be a drug called sap that, when one overdoses on it, causes one to lose one's mind, senses, and become a walking corpse that's insatiably hungry for the living flesh of others. Oh, yes.

Did I mention how fucking FUN alternate history is?

Cherie Priest's storytelling skills are straight up excellent. The story is almost written in real time, so I felt the need to grip my book with white knuckles and stay in one place until I had completed the story, racing against time to get to the ending that I was dying to find out about. When I got to the end, however, I realized that "Dreadnought" takes place in the same world/time as Priest's first book, "Boneshaker" (which I also had on my list) and subsequently wished that I had also grabbed "Boneshaker" -- damn it that I picked up "Dreadnought" first! I have a thing about reading/watching things in the proper written/produced order. But no matter. It wasn't extremely vital to the plot, as I said, but rest assured I will be reading "Boneshaker" as well.

Can we talk about the fucking brilliant titles? Like.... shit.

Cherie Priest gets an A+ in Alternate History 101. I think she is going to graduate with honors.


Lady Aly

News Flash!

I'm about to deliver some shocking news directly to your brains. Are you ready? Here it is:

Finding the time to do recreational reading while you are in school is a frustrating, enraging task.

That is all. Please stand by for spring break and a blog post from Lady Erin very soon.

Lots of love!

Lady Erin
(currently reading: Geek Love - Katherine Dunn)

Gentlemen of the Road : Bla-bla-bla-BLOGGGG

Hello. Hi. Hi. Sorry I'm late to our little "laaady" party here. Over the internet of course. I'm not making dictations at a real party. Ha, I'm so cool. Actually, it's 11pm and currently, I am waiting on a 5-cheese slice of organic wheat crust pizza in the oven to bake to perfection. Thought I'd give a little bit of love to this blog 'till that happens.

Let me begin post-beginning, by saying what Lady Elise claims in slothilness toward her writing; I, admittedly, share similar slothy habits in my reading. Together, we're a semi-illiterate sloth, probably with sloth-diagnosed ADD by a fake sloth psychologist. (Which I guess is incredibly counter intuitive and slightly misleading when it comes to this blog. Also inefficient; we'd have six fingers total for typing. And you know we'd keep asking where every damn letter is out loud.)

Enough about moss growing mammals, though. This blog's about books. One book. One book by Michael Chabon. Yeah, I know, everyone's probably already read everything of his and I'm late to that party too, but hey, there's some light I hope to shed through this little bloggeroo in hopes that those who have read it, may add to the mix, or those who haven't will put it on their TO READ lists. (Everyone makes those, right?) (SEE MY TO READ LIST BELOW.) I don't know how to make that a cool link, that'll shoot you there, so either scroll all the way down with your eyes closed, or read through everything and reward yourself... with my list....at the end.

GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD by Michael Chabon

 I ordered this book off of Amazon around 3 am one day, and forgot what I had ordered until it came in the mail two weeks later. I was genuinely, pleasantly surprised.

Gentlemen of the Road, is a hundred and ninety-six pages of adventure, history, foreign languages, war, humour, romance, animals, and a peppered with sketches. Why the hell not?!* Now that the gripper's over, I'll attempt to [somewhat elaborately] deconstruct the plot.

The story's set in  Khazaria in 950 AD, and the plot revolves around two friends who partake in thievery of all sorts (Amram, the older of the two, a burly African Jew who was a former soldier, and Zelikman, a physician-learned, Frankish Jew aptly named for his lankiness and pale features) who go from town to town and put on con-shows. Their money-making focus shifts when they encounter a young Khazarian prince, Filaq, orphaned by a coup --- there was an overthrow of the family's royal position by a man named Baljan. Who is the villain that pretty much rules Khazaria. The fucker. --- So! Keeping a promise to Filaq's dying caretaker (also caretaker of the family's royal elephants) The two men decide to take the offer of returning Filaq back home - for potential monetary gain, of course.

Throughout the course of the book, tid bits are revealed about each character that increase a reader's investment and in the end, leave you feeling rewarded.

Chabon writes in such a way that the reader is - on horseback, looking out through a Persian glass at war scenes in the distance, creating poultices made of herbs and applying ointments to the open bellies of wayward soldiers, stealing horses from an enemy camp under dim moonlight, being trampled, riding elephants, slitting the throats of night-guardsman, lost in hazy nostalgia over one's past and destruction of origin, and rounding up the troops- alongside all the well developed, intricately depicted, characters. Those sketches I mentioned earlier? They're almost unnecessary, but it's fun to play "I wonder how my imagination compares to the sketch" after the first few. Which adds more adventure to the book, if you ask me.

This is my first Chabon. I don't know if he uses hypotaxis in all of his writing, but good golly, even the print in Gentlemen of the Road takes you on a journey. His sentences are so full of descriptions and luxurious language that, physically, take your eyes on a pathway as winding as the characters' travels. If you've ever read Virgil (I've been working on the Aeneid. probably not the best to try blogging about?) Anyway, many of Chabon's sentences have that epic and profound emotion that causes a reader to reel, take a few breaths, and come back for more. It's not a bombardment of long, unorganized sentences, but a successful execution in using the physical print to help enhance the story. Even the chapter titles set your curiosity up for a titillating spike by the time you've finished one. One chapter's title is, "On the Melancholy Duty of Soldiers to Contend with the Messes Left by Kings"  Each chapter starts with "On" like the whole book's full of guideposts. I'm a fan.

A note: Even the Afterword is beautifully written and full of insight and information.

Now for a taste of the characters through some hypotaxis:

Zelikman
"When, rarely Zelikman recalled his mother to Amram, it was often a bedside memory of her seeing him through fevers and nightmares, or singing to him in the soft Latin dialect of her grandmothers, and the shade of that unknown Jewess always seemed to appear in Zelikman when he anesthetized a guard or watchman and laid him tenderly on the ground."

Filaq
"He held himself apart from the men as he had from Zelikman and Amram, sleeping in his own tent, performing his ablutions and elimination in private, riding usually at the head of the train with none beside him and none before, but he fell in regularly among the ranks, during the course of a day, all the way back to the weakest and most useless of the stragglers, to join them for a song or find shoes for the unshod."

 Amram
"It was the business of the world, Amram knew, to manufacture and consume orphans, and in that work fatherly love was mere dross to be burned away. After long years of blessed absence, the return of merciful feelings toward what was, after all, only another motherless and fatherless child, struck Amram, bitterly, as a sign of his own waning powers to live life as it must be lived."


Thematically speaking- and truly, anyone can come up with at least two dozen themes in any well crafted story- but my favorite thing about this story, has to do with the notion of someone being nurturing, yet cold and distant at the same time. (re read the above quotes if you want examples.) It is the theme of genetics - explored through the many cultural diversities within mainly the Jewish people here- that lends itself to the idea of origin and how a person's origin, culture, education, and habits ingrain within us a need to keep tradition and forge our own paths at the same time. To cherish, and yet, be distant. To remember what we've been taught at home, and fulfill an itch to seek to learn new things elsewhere.
Every character has a rich back story, and yet, as a reader, I never felt bombarded by exposition --- which is HUGE for me. There's nothing I loathe more when reading something, than blatant exposition. I take that back, sentimental arguments through dialogue filled with exposition would make me commit a literary hate crime.

Okay. SO. I could go on and on and on exploring more and more themes, and dissecting the book and giving you a fuller, more academic approach, but why ruin this moment, lovies? Pick it up for yourself is all you need to do. There's still the history, foreign language, and humour of it all you need to experience for yourself, I think. A cop out on my part, possibly.

I'll leave you with a a list of words I've learned from this book (Not all of them, of course, but some favorites.) And also some music that I feel fits Amram and Zelikman's description and relationship. Enjoy :) Videos are off of Youtube.Com

Myna - an Asian bird that imitates sounds/people/devices :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDdDJ-HgHmo&feature=fvwrel

Calumny- (slander)
Japery - (Joke)
Mendatious - (Habitually dishonest)
Ululating - (a loud/shrill lament or howl)

Vivaldi - Concerto for Bassoon and Cello in E Minor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvpMyZzqelM&feature=related


WELL THANKS FOR READING, YA LITERATES.
I promise to make them shorter from here on out!

Lady Atra

*this was when I left to get my pizza. I didn't forget...did you?

BOOKS ON MY TO READ LIST:
The Alphabet vs The Goddess (non fic)
The Moon Box (A series of folk lore tales about the moon)
The Theif at the End of the World

And of course, Virgil and I are still dating.

1997 Personal Computer and Word(less) Processor

Lady Elise's 1st EVER BOOK REVIEW...

EXCUSE LIST.

Below I have compiled a brief list that describes the bionic wall, muddy mountain, desert trail and ukulele-playing giant that stands in the way of my posts. 

BIONIC WALL:
Circa 1997 personal computer, that in 2010 2011 should symbolize a helpful mechanical extension of self, more rather is an older sibling that bats down my hand when I try to poke its keyboard (please visualize).

MUDDY MOUNTAIN:
Everday trials and tribulations.  Definiton including any post-undergraduate melodramatic thought and activity inlcuding anything by way of free-time that baffles my academically brainwashed routine into stasis, hanging out with toddlers as an occupation (I really don't undestand rearing), thoughts including "where did all the moneyz go?" to "I just NEED to learn how to chisel things"(adult signs of attention deficit disorder?), and the inevitable mindless complaining (this post) that accompanies winter.

DESERT TRAIL:
Trying to find the life source in that cranium to which instructs the mouth and fingers how to act accordingly to individual perceptions of daily life and...more specifically, reading material.

UKULELE-PLAYING GIANT (music catalogue): 
I cannot listen to this jolly (sometimes dreary) note-playin' fellow when I write due to inability to focus, but he is SO PERSUASIVE.

That being blerged (blopped, blerped?), I do read quite frequently and hopefully in a short while you will be able to read my musings on these covers and words:

The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coehlo
The Kindness of Strangers Featuring stories by Jan Morris, Tim Cahill, Simon Winchester and Dave Eggers. 
The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo  

UPDATE: Evidence I am a sloth-writer, this took me 45 minutes to write.

To Die for Dita

Hello Campers!!

So this is my first official blog post, but before I begin on the Queen of NeoBurlesque I want to give a tiny bit of background for the blog & what you should expect in the future.

I had the original idea for the blog (groan at the self promotion) because most of my good friends are avid readers like myself & a lot of our conversations evolve into discussions about what we are reading or what we just finished or what we think the other just HAS to read. Laaaadies (and books) is meant to be a kind book promotion & sharing blog – the actual “review” part of our blog is not actually very important to us at all; you will find no academic reviews here. What I mean by that is that instead of (or rather in addition to) telling everyone I meet about the fantastic book I just read I want people to know why they should actually pick it up. Because lets face it the majority of the time when a person tells you to read a book, even if it sounds interesting, you will not read that book. But now we have a forum & a discussion & a wide variety of books that we think that you should check out. & we would love Love LOVE it if you have some suggestions of your own. None of us has really written in a blog before (except Lady Aly. Go check it out!) but we are ladies who love books AND sharing.

That being said I introduce you to 

 My love affair with all things Dita began about two years ago when I stumbled across a documentary call A Wink & A Smile: The Art of Burlesque. Although Dita doesn’t appear in this film it sparked my interest into the history of burlesque & the neoburlesque movement of which Dita Von Teese is the reigning queen. & since my discovery I have become a bit obsessed & look forward to the day (coming soon I hope) when I might try my hat a little tease & strip. And who better to learn from than Dita herself.

The book is Fetish/Tease. Although what one might normally call a coffee table book (a particularly risqué type of coffee if you ask me) it is worth more than a quick glance. The book is comprised of two components Fetish & Tease; depending on your mood or your curiosities all you have to do is flip the book over & choose your adventure. I bought the book for the Burlesque initially so naturally I started there.

Tease is comprised of large glossy photos of her modeling some of her burlesque costumes, couture dresses & homage’s to past eras which are gorgeous naturally, but the best bits are the stories she tells & the gems of advice she gives. In chapters like Titilation & Tights in Time and A Time of National Undress Dita retells stories of the history of burlesque & the fabulous, dreamlike lifestyles they lead. Laced within these stories one can find boxes of counsel guiding the reader on the looks of particular era’s & the best songs to tease to. My favorite is the Burlesque Costume Musts! in which she list the items that “Every Exciting Enchantress Should Own!” Pasties & Stockings & Garters & Oh My! If you come for the pictures you’ll stay for the stories & vice versa. And when you’re feeling more dangerous…

Flip to Fetish where you can peruse Dita’s fetish photos. These include rubber, dominatrix, bondage, tight lacing & a particularly beautiful shoot in the fabulous Pere-Lachaise cemetery in Paris (my personal favorite photos of the entire book).  Like in Tease, Fetish is laced with stories & tips to the budding temptres. Unlike Tease, however, Fetish is a bit more personal & less focused on history (although there is some smashing info on Bettie Page). I love Fetish because of the honest & impactful way it addresses the fetish culture. It is complete respectful & sex positive. Dita dishes on how she made her way into fetish & her own personal favorites (tight lacing & damsel in distress topping the list). Not to mention the pictures are beyond hot & are super creative.

So although not a novel Fetish/Tease is defiantly worth more than a glance. Even if you are not particularly interested in Burlesque or the Fetish scene this book is so much more. Dita is the embodiment self awareness, acceptance & extravagance. She certainly does her own thing & she owns it on a level that is rarely seen today, especially in this world where our beauty standard is so fucked. (I love that she does her own makeup and hair before her shoots taking her beauty and image literally into her own hands.) She is a true inspiration and her passion & vivacity for life & the things she adores is inspiring in and of itself. So do yourself a favor & pick up (or peruse at B&N) Fetish/Tease. Buy the book for the stories & the priceless counsel on how to live a glamorous, kinky sex positive life & keep it out in public to entice others with the gorgeous glossies of Dita herself.

If you want more Dita I would suggest picking up Striptease featuring three flip books of her burlesque acts. Not to mention the many magazines that feature articles about her including this months Instyle which features a fantastic article that takes us into the eclectic home of Dita Von Teese & sheds a little light on what this Queen is like at home (the kitchen is AMAZING. Super envious). & keep a look out for her up coming DIY book in which she will teach us how to achieve that flawless red lip & vintage curl. I for one cannot wait!!

Explore your wild side.

Yours Exceptionally,

Lady Alexis

(Currently Reading: Eleven Minutes, Wuthering Heights, Jane Sexes it Up, Lolita, & The Mammoth Book of Scottish Romance --- I have a short attention span. With me you never know what you’re going to get…blog wise anyways ;-)

More Moore

I’ve been craving adventure lately; I just want to suck it down like I did with literature on the American Pioneer. Probably something to do with the fact that I just want to fly away and leave all this to yesterday, (think Nicole Kidman’s character in Moulin Rouge)…except without the prostitution, beautiful elephant to live in, and Ewan Macgregor ogling me from a swing while I die from consumption. I just love stories. I love stories of personal growth that you can put on a map with as well. Growth in your mind, body, and soul…..with the capability of being like, “Oh yea, remember when I was in the swamplands and I realized that I am hiding from the realization that I am becoming my mother”. Or, “Remember when we were trying to find that elderly man with the prophecy and I realized that I didn’t like avocados that much, but pretend I do because it’s the trendy new thing to like.” Or, “Remember when we were in the temple of pig carcasses when I realized I liked women?


That’s what I like. Self-growth and actualization that can be associated with a specific part on your journey. IT’s just such a nice combination.

I am not on a journey; I am living in Rogers Park, working a silly job, and getting drunk on my couch.

But, this is not meant to be a pity party, it’s good. And we talk about books here.

Enter Lamb, by Christopher Moore. I just…... adored this book. I love the idea of it, I marvel at his courage as a writer to hold such a respect for an age old story, but also make me giggle in bed, (while reading people….gosh dirty minds) but also make me cry from the deep, deep running friendship themes. I also didn’t feel like a moron reading it because it forced me look things up, and wonder about that book called the Bible, which actually turns out to be full of awesome stories…and wonderful life lessons. This is ironic because our generation LOVES bashing the Bible. But I’m serious. I like the book as a book. No. I like the book as it is associated with centuries and generations of different takes on spirituality, because that is just beautiful.

Sorry, that’s not the book this entry is about.

Lamb is s a coming of age story, an adventure, freaking hilarious, and painfully heartfelt. You first-handedly experience the struggles that two young boys experience as they realize that suffering and disappointment is just as real as a sense of security and the idea of peace. Moore mixes an ancient religion with an accurate human viewpoint on life. His writing may indicate a lack of respect for Christianity and religion in general, but he really ends up validating all ways of thinking, and pays a tribute to Jesus Christ. (In my opinion)

Biff accompanies Joshua on his quest for knowledge and understanding, with the hope that Joshua (Jesus) will learn how to actually BE the messiah for his people. That, and he is scared that Joshua’s kind way and trust in the good of people will get him killed. This following passage is taken from when Joshua is learning the ancient art of meditation from his teacher Gaspar, who is one of the Magi that was present at his humble birth. I just love it, and think it illustrates Moore’s style perfectly.

“Sitting was what we did. To learn to sit, to be still and hear the music of the universe, was why we had come halfway around the world, evidently. To let go of ego, not individuality, but that which distinguishes us from all other beings. ‘When you sit, sit. When you breathe, breathe. When you eat, eat.’ Gaspar would say, meaning that every bit of our being was to be in the moment, completely aware of the now, no past, no future, nothing dividing us from everything that is.


It’s hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread who am I?"

Beautiful, no?

Biff is like that guy in high school that made corny jokes and wanted to be a kick ass ninja that you rolled your eyes at. But he was also that friend you could ALWAYS count on to be rational, to cover your ass, to never doubt your methods…ever. I mean, his best friend is a pretty big deal. He is jealous at times sure, but he also makes fart jokes with Christ and tries to teach him about sex.

I love this book because it draws attention to something that always intrigued me about the Christianity. Jesus was human. He grew up. He doubted his life. And his humanity is what makes people worship him, not his omnipotence…In theory anyway….Moore takes the holiness, and sacredness, and delicacy away from the whole period surrounding Jesus of Nazareth. He compares God to James Earl Jones, he makes his Christ character a likeable dude who is just SO naïve about the evils of the world. He makes Jesus QUESTION God, his father, like any young person questions their parents. And he does it in such a gosh darn charming way. Like dude, Christ says fuck all the time in this book.

Moore-over (ha, see what I did there) I loved the idea that Jesus sacrifices himself to rebel against God. We all know the God of the First Testament was a total dick. (Really no offence meant here) He always asked for people to be sacrificed and killed, and flooded the earth and all that stuff. Moore brings up a point that maybe Jesus sacrifices himself to show his pops that things need to be changed. By sacrificing himself maybe God will realize that there need not BE any more sacrifices, and change the way things work in terms of worship.

One beef with the book, but not really beef because I understand it, but as a reader just makes me frustrated. The abrupt ending. Moore ends all of the books I’ve read so far in just…..an ending. I won’t really ruin it. And there really is no other way of ending it, because we know Jesus does eventually die. But I guess it’s really MOORE of a good thing. I was sad when it was over.


Peacfully and Forcibly Yours,
Lady Emily

(Currently reading: Stardust by Neil Gaiman)